Afraid to ask

Mark 9:32, “But they did not understand the statement and they were afraid to ask Him.” The disciples did not understand when Jesus said to them that the Son of Man was to be delivered into the hands of man, and that they would kill Him, and when He was killed, He would rise three days later. Their minds couldn’t wrap around the meaning of Jesus’s words. The disciples it says were afraid to ask for understanding. I find this interesting and see this is as a reason why we don’t at times ask God for understanding. Are we also afraid to hear His answer? Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God and know my heart, try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” I don’t know about any of you but there are times I am praying that I become aware of things in my heart that shouldn’t be there. That harsh word spoken. That judgment of another person. That hurtful way in my heart. Unspoken sins of the heart. Am I afraid God will be disappointed? The Psalm tells us to ask God to search our hearts, to try us and know our anxious thoughts, but more important to see if there is any hurtful way in me. When these things are shown to me it is humbling. It is at those times I realize that without God giving me understanding my heart would begin to harden and I will not allow God to work in me. I thank God for showing me how I must seek Him at all times. Matthew 6:6-13 tells us, “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father, who is in secret and your Father who sees in secret will repay you. And when you are praying do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. Therefore, do not be like them. For your Father knows what we need before you ask Him. Pray then in this way: “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory, forever. Amen” God knows what we need before we ask Him. When we bare our hearts to Him in prayer, He shows us what we need. Sometimes what we need is purging our hearts of any hurtful way. I think of John 8:6-9, when the Pharisees brought the woman caught in adultery to Jesus. They told Him the Law, Moses commanded, required that they should stone her. John 8:6 says, they were testing Him in order to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. When the Pharisees persisted in asking Him, He straightened and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” And He again stooped down and wrote on the ground. I think Jesus was writing down the things the Pharisees had in their hearts. How powerful is this! The Pharisees could not cast the first stone, because of what was written on the ground. Our Father who sees our hearts shows us our hurtful ways. Don’t be afraid to ask God for understanding.